A Cloudy OOTD

I've written before about my love of CowCow, they make really cute stretch dresses in fantastic and ridiculous prints. I've got 3 now, the one in this post, a tiger print dress, and a dinosaur print. This dress is the first true skater style dress I've gotten from them and it's definitely my favourite.

How cute is that pink cloud print? They aren't a flat colour and instead have a variety of shades of pink and purple to give them depth. It's so damn adorable and has quickly become a wardrobe favourite for me. I love the length of this dress, above the knee, but not so short I really worry about flashing my butt. For reference, I'm 5ft 11. I sized up in this dress, which is available in up to a 5XL as the others are so short, and I really didn't need to, it's a tad too big on the bust but it'll do me just fine.

I paired it with some old Evans sandals, and a New Look denim jacket I've cut the sleeves off and started to cover in pins. I have a denim jacket I've modified that does have the sleeves, but for those slightly warmer days this is ideal. I feel very rock and roll in it, which is always my aesthetic!

When buying from CowCow, the key things to bare in mind is that while all the dresses describe themselves as skater dresses, they aren't. If you want the style that flares out at the waist like I'm wearing, you need to pick the style shown on their website with the model holding the skirt section of the dress straight out from their waist at 90 degrees, not at 45 degrees. I prefer this style to the other style I have as it's longer on me.

I definitely plan on buying like, all the ridiculous and fun prints I can. I wished for years I could find a plus size stores that sold these sort of dresses and now I've found one I need to collect them all.

Much love,

Kitty xxxx

Plus Equals Win : Swimsuit Impossible

Stop Judging Other People's Body Modifications

My name is Kitty, and when I was 27, I had Botox for the first time. I've had it every 3 months since. I've been getting piercings other than my ears since I was around 17, and got my first tattoo at 26. Lately I've been seeing a lot of hate from the body modification community towards those who have plastic surgery and less invasive kinds of fillers and Botox and the like and it's not cool.

Before Botox, this was my life. Hospital visits and a whole lot more medication than I'm sharing in that photo. I suffer from hemiplegic migraines and a form of chronic headaches. This means I am in pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Or at least, I was. Thanks to Botox I've been able to avoid hospital visits and ambulances for a little while now and it's incredible.

I took this selfie the first time I ended up on a stroke unit. Hemiplegic migraines essentially mimic strokes without the brain damage. Slurred speech, one sided numbness, confusion, aphasia, drooping face, all the fun stuff. It is absolutely terrifying.

I've tried dozens of different medications and treatments, and nothing worked until Botox. I have it every 3 months and it totally changed my life. I have 36 injections in my forehead, scalp and neck and let me tell you, Botox bloody hurts like hell. I cry every time. I've been tattooed for 6 hours in one sitting and there is just no comparison in the pain. I can't move my eyebrows anymore, and the slight wrinkle I had coming in my forehead has vanished.

And since I had Botox I realised something. There is a running theme within the tattoo/modified community of a prejudice towards those who have pursued a different type of body modification. I'm talking lip fillers, Botox, fake boobs, nose jobs and more. The tattoo community seems to consider it's type of body modification superior to these other types of modification because they are more associated with vanity than tattoos are. Because Botox hides aging, or fillers increase your pout, people believe their artwork covered bodies are different or better. I see so much hate from people who claim to be open minded towards those who have these other kinds of modification.

The body positive community is all about embracing who you are, and loving yourself, but that isn't always possible for some people. I felt like my body hated me before Botox, and now I can love it because it doesn't feel like it is rebelling against me. People get fake boobs because they've always been self conscious about their breasts, or because they are having reconstruction after breast cancer, or because they just love the look of huge fake boobs! You might love the exaggerated look of lip fillers, or have always wanted a split tongue, or a full back piece, it's body modification in a different form. And one isn't better than the other.

Tattoos aren't better than Botox, your nose piercing isn't cooler than a nose job. The body modification community has always claimed to be supportive and welcoming, but it is judging an entire group of people because their ways of modifying their body are different to their ideas of body modification. You aren't superior because you have tattoos and someone else has cheek fillers.

As someone who has always felt part of the alternative community, to see us judging other people's choices hurts, especially when I didn't have a choice about whether or not to have Botox. Seeing memes and jokes about frozen foreheads and about how awful people must be who have it, it hurts. Being judged by people who know nothing about you sucks. Why people have body modification is none of your business, and what kind of body modification is 'OK' is none of your business either. 

I believe everyone deserves total body autonomy, and that includes their right to get their preferred body modification without judgement from others. I want to see less judgement from the alternative and body positive communities, we have to learn to embrace everyone's choices about their own bodies. Whether you like the look of their modification, or would never have it done to yourself, you have no right to judge. The reasons I have Botox are irrelevant, I shouldn't have to justify it to you so you don't judge me.

Not your body, not your choice.

Much love,

Kitty xxxx

PS. All my tattoos are by Keely Rutherford!

Why I Love My Tattoos

I started getting tattooed in March 2014 after almost 10 years of wanting to get tattooed. I always loved them. I loved seeing beautiful ladies covered in pretty pictures and bad ass men with mysterious patterns on them, and I wanted to be one of those pretty ladies. As a young teen, I loved punks and goths and counter culture. I read BME Zine, and realised that there was this whole world of body modification and self expression that I knew nothing about. As I grew older, I knew I wanted tattoos, but I also wanted to wait to get them. By 21, most of my friends who had been tattooed were getting cover ups and reworks, or longing for them! So I waited, and I read, and I learnt as much as I could, until I knew I had found the right person for what I wanted.

This was my first piece. I travelled to Manchester to Loaded Forty-Four and got tattooed by Keely Rutherford. I'm now one session off a completed lower leg sleeve, and have no plans to stop from there. To be tattooed by Keely I've travelled to Manchester, Leeds and London. Because the cliche is true, 'good work ain't cheap, and cheap work ain't good'! I'd rather travel and really get the perfect artist than settle.

Before I started getting tattooed, I lived in full length leggings. I hated my legs. I have eczema scars, weird patches of pigment, and I also have have sort of weird red blotchy pores on my legs. It's always bugged me, even though I'm sure no one else really noticed it! But that's kind of the thing with insecurities, they bother us, even if no one else has ever mentioned them before. When my eczema was bad, or when my scars are obvious, people have pointed them out to me. Still do actually, because I still have eczema. And knowing that it's something people notice is hard. When little kids ask their parents what is wrong with that ladies leg, or someone blunt just outright asks, you realise it's not all in your head.

But since I started getting tattooed, I feel so much more confident! I'm no longer worried about what people are looking at on my legs, instead I know they are looking at my tattoos! I love the colours, I feel like they are an extension of me and I love my body so much more for having them. I can't imagine my skin without them, I feel like I'm becoming the 'me' I was always meant to be. I used to be convinced people could see all the things I was insecure about, and now, even if they can, I don't care, because my body is becoming beautiful art.

Who wouldn't love their body more for being covered in art? I know tattoos aren't for everyone, the world would be pretty boring if we all liked the same things, but they are for me. And that's what I love about my tattoos, they are for me, and no one else. I feel beautiful and special with them. Even when no one can see them because they are covered up, I feel amazing. They make me smile every single time I see them!

I'm more inclined to have my legs out, to wear short leggings or none at all. Loving yourself is such a hard journey, and tattoos have helped me love a part of myself I've always hated. And that can't be a bad thing.

I have ideas for my other leg, and ideas for more tattoos elsewhere. Sorry Mum! Do you have tattoos? Where are they? Who did them? I love seeing work from artists I haven't discovered yet.

Much love,

Kitty xxxxx

Dee Dixon Photoshoot

I've chatted to the lovely Dee Dixon online for years on and off, but we never quite managed to get around to actually shooting together till recently. Thankfully we finally got our butts in gear and spent a fantastic day working together! About time, and certainly not the only time.

Harness from Twilight Siren

I shoot from my parent's house, which is round the corner from my house, as quite simply, it's way bigger and much more shoot friendly. They've been decorating recently, and in one of the bedrooms they had the doors off the fitted wardrobes, which left this interesting space that Dee eyed up and wanted to pose in. I'm always happy to experiment and work in a different space!

How amazing does Dee look in blue? I love her curves in this lingerie. I find blue so hard to wear, so seeing Dee look so good in it makes me want to try it more.

I have seen this lingerie set in so many photoshoots. All on very slim, petite, small breasted women. So when Dee showed me that she owned it, I knew she would rock it! She wanted to show a different, curvier body type in it, and I was so happy to help. She looks incredible!

Dee fell totally in love with my pooch Ashen, and he got in on the posing action with some cheesy grins. What a pair of cuties!

I love bralets, and this lace one was lovely! Models with great lingerie are my faves. Dee hadn't shot much lingerie recently, so I was really honoured to shoot her exclusively in her pants all day. I try so hard to promote body positivity and to show different bodies in my work, and it means the world to me that people trust me to photograph them. I don't photoshop figures, or take out scars or cellulite or stretchmarks or birthmarks, because I believe these are all the things that make us individuals, so what I present in my work is reality. The beautiful reality of gorgeous people!

And finally, a new set up, a blue room and bed. With Dee's blue eyes, there was no way I wasn't going to shoot her in it. All natural sunlight was perfect for showing off her pale skin and eyes.

Dee was a total pleasure to shoot with, and hopefully we will work together again.

I am always looking to shoot more different and beautiful babes, so please don't be afraid to get in touch! I love shooting other plus size babes in particular.

Much love,

Kitty xxx

Tattoos and London Adventures!

Last week I travelled down to London for a night and managed to cram so much adventure into one day and an evening!

Wednesday night the first thing I did was meet up with my lovely bridesmaid Roswell Ivory for her birthday! There were brownies, mangoes and many political discussions. I bloody love this gal! So happy I got to see her for her birthday.

I then jumped on the tube and went to meet Stephanie of Nerd About Town who I was staying with. You know when you meet someone and it's like you've known them forever? That's what meeting Steph was like. Hopefully it won't be long before I get to see her again because we totally didn't get enough time together. Plus, her Mum is a bad ass!

This handsome beast is Blue. He had a belly that needed rubs!

EDIT - While the quality of their clothes isn't in doubt, I cannot encourage anyone to buy from Scarlett & Jo or support their business for ethical reasons.

Thursday morning I got up and had a cuppa with Steph's Mum, then ventured across London to Scarlett & Jo's headquarters. I had arranged to meet Lucia of U Can't Wear That and Leighanne of Bump and Beyong Blog. Both are total babes and I am so glad I got to meet them! As an added bonus, Mayah Thomas was also there! I'm a huge fan of hers but I managed to control my fangirling :D I didn't remember to take any selfies because I'm useless. Next time! I also got to sneak a peek at some of Scarlett & Jo's upcoming designs, and even try some on. I'm 5ft 11 and Gifi of S&J was eager to see some of the samples on a much taller than average woman, and I was more than happy to comply! And you guys, oh we are in for a treat, so much awesome is coming. Eep!

After that, I then went over to Jolie Rouge Tattoo Studio for a 6 hour session with Keely Rutherford. I'm determined to get my lower leg moth/butterfly sleeve finished for our wedding next year, so I decided to risk a long session, having only done small ones before. I like to think I was pretty tough, but I have to admit, I was hurting by the end and had to tap out. One more session of about the same length and we should be all done :D

 

Keely worked in sections, starting on the front of my leg, because it's what I see, and therefore where the space bugs me the most!

Keely wanted to add more different colours into the sleeve, and orange was the most awesome idea! She also added in more black and grey with some less detailed butterflies with I think stops it being too crazily coloured.

She also had the brill idea to do some butterflies using negative space, so did some smaller butterfly outlines in orange and purple, and then filled in the background around them. So cute!

Then we moved round to the side, and then a little on the back.

I couldn't handle that last bit of green background needed on the back/side here, but next time I will! Keely is so talented, and it's such a privilege to have her work on me. She's the only person to have tattooed me.

And some close ups! I love the touches of orange, it's like sunset explosions in the butterflies. Lush! I'll take healed photos and share them in another blog in a few weeks, currently it is well moisturised and healing.

I had such a fab time, the folks at Jolie Rouge were all lovely, special thanks to Manny the gorgeous apprentice who helped me figure out the London buses and made sure I knew where I was going!

I can't wait to meet more plus size bloggers at the Curve Fashion Festival in Manchester in September, are you going?

Much love,

Kitty xxxx

A 40th Birthday Surprise!

Ever see something so perfect for someone that you had to get them it? I had that moment in October 2014 when Lawrence Canham posted a sketch of a tattoo design he wanted to do on facebook. As soon as I saw it, I knew what I was getting for Stu, my then-boyfriend and now-fiance, for his 40th birthday in April 2015!

This is the photo that he posted. Perfect! It has a skull, dot work, and a beautiful death head moth. Stu has been admiring Lawrence's work since my first visit to Loaded Forty-Four in May 2014, and had been desperate to get something by him. I messaged Lawrence as soon as I saw the design, and asked if he would be prepare to hold it for such a long time for me and explained why. He was super sweet and eager to help. An hour later, Stu noticed the photo on facebook....

Too late though Stu.... I had already paid the deposit and it was booked, but not till April! I spent ages debating how to tell him and when. In the end, I settled on the night before the appointment, which was a week before his birthday.

In the end I opted for this, a little heart made out of paper, with the photo taken from facebook, and a little message written on it too. 

I was so nervous, but thankfully Stu was so totally thrilled! Yay! So the next day we got up and got ready and drove to Swinton to see the crew at Loaded Forty-Four.

Lawrence spent a bunch of time getting the stencil just right, with it having straight lines he wanted it just so. We naired Stu's legs the night before and Lawrence remarked that they were the 'smoothest men's legs he'd ever encountered' haha. And off they went!

Lawrence tattooing Stu.

Getting there!

Half done and time for a break.

Thanks to Lydia (I think it was Lydia, sorry if it wasn't!) for grabbing Stu a straw so he could comfortably sip his Relentless. We nattered most of the time, and towards the end I sat reading Game of Thrones on my Kindle and he played Cookie Jam haha.

The finished piece! Seriously, how amazing is that? The detail and dot work is just incredible. Stu loves it so much which makes me super happy. He's been living in shorts since he got it done to show it off and is already planning what he wants Lawrence to do on his other calf.

And now, the tip! I take tipping tattoo artists very seriously, I like to buy them little gifts and presents, and as soon as I saw this I had to get it. It's a cake, that's a pie, a pie, that's a cake!! With chocolate gravy and icing chips and peas. Amazing!

Thank you so so much to Lawrence for helping me surprise Stu, and holding this design for over 6 months. I cannot recommend Lawrence and the whole crew at Loaded Forty-Four enough. They are a seriously talented bunch and I hope we will be back over to them soon to get more work done.

And here is healed photo!

Much love,

Kitty xxxxx

PS. Don't forget to enter my blog giveaway!