Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Our First Wedding Anniversary

Back on 4th June, Stu and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We were away on holiday in Cornwall with some of our best friends and spent the night on the beach eating cheesy chips. Bliss! I thought it was about time I actually shared what we got each other, because I think we both did pretty awesome. Traditionally different years of marriage are associated with different items; for your first wedding anniversary in the UK it is paper. I had been racking my brain for a good idea and paper finally gave me the inspiration I needed.

When Stu was married previously (I'm his second wife), he had a lot of art work by the artist Ed Org. When he moved out he left basically everything behind, including all of his beloved Ed Org prints. I decided to buy him a signed artist proof and really hoped he would like it. Thankfully, he really did! It's an unusual size so we need to get it professionally framed but it really does deserve that.

Stu actually bought me 3 presents and spoilt me rotten, but I forgot to photograph the other thing he got me, oops! He got me the Ladybird book on 'How to be a wife'. It's all kinds of ridiculous and a cute gift. Stu's gifts had both the paper theme, and were inspired by our first dance. He got me an original limited edition vinyl of Skid Row's I Remember You. Skid Row were the band that brought us together and dancing to I Remember You is such a precious memory from our wedding day.

He also got me this awesome sound wave of I Remember You! I love personalised presents like this and maybe did a small cry. Maybe. OK I definitely cried. He gave me such thoughtful and beautiful presents, they couldn't have been more perfect for our first wedding anniversary. I'm so lucky!

If you need inspiration for your wedding anniversary presents, I highly recommend checking out what the material is for your year, it really helped us both!

Much love,
Kitty xxx

Sunday, 16 July 2017

How I Dealt With Being Ghosted By A Friend

Ghosting. A quick google describes the term as meaning 'the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.' (Google 2017). Most of the time people think of ghosting as a way that people escape from online dating gone poorly, or from a potential partner they aren't interested in. They simply stop texting back, or replying online, and the guy you met on POF gets the message you aren't interested, without having to do the awkward conversation about how it's not you, it's me. It's an easy out. And I've totally recommended people do it before when they've met people who turned out to be hideous who wouldn't take no for an answer, it can be a safer option to avoid someone who is being emotionally abusive, or relentless in their desire to contact you when you don't want them to. Ghosting is something relatively new to our society with the rise of social media and online dating, but ghosting isn't exclusive to intimate relationships. I was ghosted by someone I considered a dear friend, so here's my story.

For ease, I'm going to call my friend Laura throughout. Laura is not her real name. I met Laura when I was about 19. We had a lot of mutuals, and were both going to university but commuting from our home town rather than living in halls. We spent many afternoons drinking soft drinks in the pub (I was teetotal at the time), I would cat sit for her when she went away on holiday, the night her then boyfriend proposed I was one of the first to know, when I left my last relationship she was there for me, and then suddenly, silence. 

At first, I figured she was really busy. She had a new job, she wasn't much of one for social media, we just kept missing each other. Then there was a night out in which a group of us met up and Laura was there too. I walked in and waved a hello and she looked right through me. It was weird, I told myself she must not have seen me, despite the fact that there can't be many other 5ft 11 women with pink hair in our home town. We didn't speak the whole night. I tried to get her attention a few times but she wasn't having any of it. I have social anxiety, and really worry about social situations, so the longer the night went on, the more I panicked and didn't dare go over.

The next day I told myself I must have done something to upset her, or maybe she'd had a bad day. I went back over our last conversations and nothing struck me as something that could have been misinterpreted, or accidentally offensive. And believe me, I poured over them. As time went on, we'd be involved in group conversations and she would completely ignore my responses. It truly was like I was a ghost, like she couldn't see what I was saying, or that I was physically in front of her even. Mutual friends noticed her ghosting me and asked her what the problem was, she claimed to have no issue and was fine with me. This went on for a long time before I did anything.

After a year or more, I couldn't take it any more. I couldn't see her name pop up on Facebook and know she was ignoring me. I couldn't be in the group conversations and have her act like I didn't exist. I couldn't bear to allow her to continue to ghost me any more. It hurt too much to see someone I had cared about so much act like I didn't exist. I spent so much time wondering what I had done to deserve being ghosted. I cried too much for the end of a friendship.

For my own mental health, after much heart break and upset, I decided that the best thing to do was block her, on all social media. Almost immediately, I felt lighter. No longer seeing her name, being able to actively see her ignore me, it made being ghosted so much easier. I could no longer see her ignoring me. I took her power away by blocking her when she was making a show of ignoring me. It was one of the best decisions I could have made, and it made grieving the end of the friendship easier. 

It has been several years now, and I've still not heard from Laura. We've been at gatherings together, we've even been out for meals together in a group, and she's never so once so much as looked at me. While I blocked her on social media and highly recommend this to anyone who experiences ghosting from this end, I've never changed my phone number. If she wanted to talk about whatever happened she could. But I guess she doesn't want to. Blocking Laura was 100% the right decision for me. It enabled me to be able to process the situation properly and move on. It was a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I was no longer tormented by even the sight of her name, which had previously broken my heart every day. I was able to remove myself from the situations that caused me pain, and I am grateful for that block feature!

A friendship ending can be harder than a relationship break up. It still involves betrayal, heart ache and pain, but sometimes it can seem so much more unexplained. You have to take care of yourself, and being able to block or mute people on social media can be a fantastic tool to help self care. I never reached out and asked what Laura's issue was, because I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and she was so adamant to our mutuals that there wasn't an issue. I don't regret not reaching out. And now, several years later, I don't miss her, and it doesn't hurt like it did. Now I look back and know she wasn't the person I thought she was, because a real friend would have told me if I'd messed up so we could deal with the situation, not just vanished. If I screw up, call me out on it. That's what real friends do If she didn't respect me enough to tell me what was wrong, I didn't care enough to ask.

Stepping away and blocking her was the healthiest thing I could do, and it's made my life a lot easier. There are still times we are in the same place or invited to the same events, and she still ignores me and acts as if my smol giant plus size self is invisible. And that's OK. I deserve better than that, and I have better than that. And I won't let someone treat me like that. I have no interest now in ever trying to resolve what happened, because as far as I'm concerned, nothing did. I will happily burn that bridge, because who wants a friend who can treat them like that?

I never thought I'd be ghosted, because I always thought it was something that happened in dating, but it's not. If you've been ghosted by a friend know that you deserve better, and please do not blame yourself. Sometimes people have their own issues that they can't deal with and they take it out on you, or they just aren't the person you thought you knew. Hit that block button and free yourself of that pain, and know that you are not alone. You are not alone, and you deserve better.

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

5 Things I Love About Summer

Now I have to admit, I am not the biggest fan of summer. Autumn is my absolute favourite time of year, and to get to autumn, we have to do summer. In an effort to stay positive in the heat, I thought I'd share my 5 favourite things about summer!

1) Being barefoot.

If I am in my house or in my garden, I am barefoot. I love not wearing shoes and wish I didn't have to wear them half as much, so the second I get the chance, off they come! There's something about the earth underneath your feet that feels right. I love it.

2) Ice cream!

Ice cream, ice lollies, milkshakes, ice, I love a good cold dessert. I'm especially loving Aldi's gin and tonic ice lollies this year which absolutely taste like gin. NOM.

3) Mini dresses

Skies out, thighs out! Summer means dresses, and at 5ft 11 that usually means they are super short. I hated my legs for a long time, but am learning to love them. Armed with a pair of chub rub shorts (my personal faves are by Chaffree, and you can get 10% off their range with the code shemightbe10), I practically live in dresses in summer.

4) Being outside.

There's not much more I love than a Sunday session in the pub sat outside on the picnic benches. I'm not much of a drinker, but I love being outside and just chilling out with our friends. We can spend hours just chatting outside in good weather, and when it's really lovely you can easily stay outside once it eventually gets dark too! Just remember to lather up that sun tan lotion so you don't burn!

5) The long days.

I'm so much more productive when the sun is shining! As soon as it gets dark, I get sleepy and all I can think about is my bed. Winter makes me want to curl up on my sofa and just curl up with our animals and watch movies, but give me light and my energy goes right up. I think a lot of that is tied in with having a vitamin D deficiency too, I literally need the sun more to give me energy so I can be peppy and get to work. Light seems to help in so many ways, it helps so much with mental health and just feeling better about myself. I know so many with seasonal depression and seeing them do better in the summer is just wonderful. The long days mean barbecues and garden picnics and more adventures, it just feels like you have so much more time. I love it!

What are your favourite things about summer? I'd love to know.

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Perks of Being a Wildflower : Persuede Me

Friday, 7 July 2017

Colourpop Perks of Being A Wildflower

As any of my readers know by now, I'm a bit Colourpop obsessed. I've always been a purple toned lipstick kind of a gal, but since I first got my mitts on their lipsticks I've gone wild and want every colour. Like Pokemon, but with lipstick, gotta have 'em all! I'd never been one for the more natural and nude tones, but now I really am. So I had to pick up the Sonya Esman lippie stix collab 'Perks of Being a Wildflower'.

This is a set of what Colourpop call their 'on the go' lippie stix, they are a mini size, at .55g per lippie instead of the usual 1.0g. Slightly over half the weight, but definitely half the size in terms of the packing, making them really handy to throw in your handbag. They'd fit in even the smallest of bags for a night out, or even a coin purse!

Left to right - 

California Lovers, Empire State of Mind, Toronto Terrace and St. Petersburg.

The set also includes a clear primer lippie stix, but that isn't visible in swatches so I didn't bother. I find it adds a good moisturising layer underneath them and stops any feathering at the edge of your lips.

California Lovers is a classic fawny tone, maybe a little pale for me as I have incredibly pale lips naturally and need a bit more pigmentation for my personal tastes. Empire State of Mind is a slightly coral toned peach, this is one I'll more than likely end up giving to my Mum as I'm not a fan of coral tones on my skin. Toronto Terrace is lush, a more brown toned shade, I love the cool tones in it. And St. Petersburg is a fantastic house brick sort of red. I love this one and I know it'll be a shade I reach for a lot, especially in autumn.

I'm a big fan of these mini sets because they encourage me to try out colours I wouldn't otherwise give a go, and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised!

Much love,
Kitty xxx

Sunday, 2 July 2017

Colourpop Persuede Me

I've always been a gal who loved a bright lipstick, so discovering my love for nudes this year has been a revelation! I debated on this particular set for months before I finally snapped it up, mostly because it's a lot of paler colours that I wouldn't necessarily wear. In the end, armed with the knowledge that my Mum would love the colours I thought were too pale for me, it had to be mine.

This is Colourpop's Persuede Me collection. It contains 6 lippie stix in my personal favourite formula, the matte x formula. It's a super matte lipstick that is really comfortable to wear and I'm obsessed.

The lippie stix themselves are classic Colourpop, silver font on glossy white tubes that have a good sturdy click when you close them. The box itself is really cute for storage, it's got a chunky feel to it and is magnetic so it's not about to open and let your goodies inside escape.

I decided to do something I've not done before for swatches, and share photos in the shade, and in direct sunlight to show the way light can impact the colour on your skin.

Left to right this is Ziggie, Daydream, Le Freak, Goldie, Hotline and Upside Down. 

Ziggie is a deep terracotta shade, Daydream is a cool toned brown with a hint of purple, Le Freak is a stunning red wine sort of colour, Goldie is a traditional brick red, Hotline is a peachy pale brown, and Upside Down is a light peachy tone. 

Upside Down is definitely too pale for me. My natural lip colour is pretty pale and I'm not into that early 2000's look. Hotline is maybe a tad too pale, but with a darker liner under it it's workable. The rest are all shades I know I'll get a ton of wear out of. I think my absolute fave is Le Freak, I just love the deep wine tone of it, it's going to be a stand out for autumn for sure.

I'll be posting photos on my instagram of me wearing all the shades as I go along so be sure to follow me @kittyramblesalot and don't forget to enter the giveaway in my last blog here.

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

In The Style Curve x The Curve Fashion Festival Giveaway*

I am always excited when a new brand take the plunge into plus size fashion, and I'm always even more thrilled when they start going up to a size 28 as standard right from the start! In The Style are a brand known for their fashion forward pieces and celebrity ranges, so I couldn't wait to see what they released. They did not disappoint! Their range is on trend and full of fun pieces, so when given a chance to try out one of their dresses for myself I leaped at the chance!

I tried out the 'Curve Binky Red Floral Bardot Swing Dress*' £27 and it's gorgeous. I love a bardot dress, and this one has just the right amount of elastic that it doesn't ride up as you wear it. It's a comfy, light material that makes it perfect for summer parties, and it doesn't crease easily which is a bonus!

As you can see, it's slightly longer at the back, and the hem raises slightly at the sides. I'm 5ft 11, so for me personally it didn't work the best as a dress. I could wear it, but I couldn't guarantee I wasn't going to flash anyone while I walked around! I popped a plain black jersey pencil skirt underneath it just to give me a bit more coverage. In The Style are known for their super short styles so if you love to flash some leg, check out their range, I have my eye on so many other dresses right now.

And so, to the exciting part of the blog, the giveaway! I have a £50 voucher for In The Style Curve and a pair of tickets for The Curve Fashion Festival to giveaway to one lucky winner! To enter, use the Rafflecopter widget below.

The contest will end next Wednesday, so you have a week to win, good luck!

Much love,
 Kitty xxxx

What Happened To My Face? : Colourpop Lips

*denotes an item gifted to me for review purposes, in no way does this impact upon my opinions which are entirely my own. Prizes kindly donated by In The Style and The Curve Fashion Festival.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

What Happened To My Face?

TW For injuries and wounds.

If you follow my social media, you might have noticed a sudden decrease in selfies, and there have been less blogs on here lately too. I had well.... a bit of an accident. It's been a month now, so I figure it's time to explain what happened, and the new addition to my face!

The day of the injury. It didn't look too bad then... it got worse!

The first day of my two weeks off for mine and Stu's first wedding anniversary I had the excellent idea to bath the dog so he was all clean and shiny for our holiday too. After he got out the bath he tried to run through the house to soak the place, no chance! I turfed him out into the garden and went hunting for one of his garden toys to play with while he dried off in the sun. A hunt in the garden came up empty, so I snuck back into the house and left Ashen outside for a minute while I got him a toy. I had my sunglasses on already and decided to leave them on for the few moments I'd be inside the house. BIG MISTAKE. Huge. 

I took one step into the kitchen and I stepped in a wet patch courtesy of the dog and slipped. I hit my face on the kitchen door frame as I fell and next thing I knew Ashen had managed to let himself back into the house and was crying stood over me. He's a clever thing! It hurt SO much. I held my face and tried to get my breathing under control, all the while cursing myself for the inevitable black eye I'd have at the festival we headed to the next day. When I finally moved my hand, I realised that it was worse than that, because they were covered in blood. Crap. I told Ashen I was OK and tried to calm him down because he knew I was in pain, poor sweet boy. I headed to the bathroom to check the damage out, thinking it'd be nothing major, because minor cuts to the head bleed very over dramatically. I looked and well... Ric Flair in the late 80's would have been proud. I was an absolute mess. My hair was full of blood, my face was covered, my arms, my back, my dress, absolutely covered and still pouring down my face. I very obviously needed to see a medical professional and sharpish!

 The day after, ouch!

I rang Stu, my husband, and unfortunately he was an hour away at work. He immediately got on his way back to me but I needed someone to be with me sooner. I couldn't ring my parents because they work hours away, my Auntie and Nanny were going on holiday that day, and I didn't want to worry my other Grandparents. So, to figure out which friends I could ring! As we were all going on a road trip the next day I knew I wasn't the only one not at work. And rather typically, no one was bloody answering! I was starting to panic, when I realised that my friend Becks would answer even though he was at work, and I knew he would help. And he answered on the first ring. Hero! He calmed me down, because I was really beginning to panic at this point, and got on the phone to our friend Stevie who wasn't at work. He came right over to me, convinced that it wasn't that bad. He's an ex-Army medic and took one look at me and admitted that yes, maybe I did need someone to stitch me up.

Day 3 - I couldn't open my eye for the first few hours of being awake.

We rang my Doctor's surgery who had no nurses working that day, so couldn't see me. So he took me to his surgery instead which is technically my local one, who also had no nurses working that day, and couldn't help me. That's your NHS cuts at work folks. I really did not want to spend 8 hours sat in A & E when I just needed a bit of stitching up and other people really did have an emergency. By this point, Stu had managed to get back and took over. I needed a husband hug bad! We decided to try our local minor injuries unit before A & E as a last resort. And I was in and out within 40 minutes, all patched up! They were absolutely incredible, and well worth keeping in mind for minor injuries that need attention, but don't require a hospital. Because of how close the wound was to my eye, and the nature of eyelid skin, I couldn't be stitched. Instead the nurse glued me up and then applied steri strips, with instructions to keep them on for 7-10 days. I've never had glue for a wound before and wow does it sting!

About a week after, I got a lovely yellow bruised face!

I was seriously lucky that my taste in sunglasses is for giant shades, because a smaller pair could have led to damage to my actual eye. I've lost the lower third of my eyebrow and will have a juicy scar, but as I already have a scar on the other side of my face, it's a new one for the collection. This is the second time I've fallen over and needed some sort of stitches in my face, I don't even know how anyone can be that clumsy. The swelling was the worst part for me, it swelled horribly for the first few days, causing my eye to close completely and any shape to my eye lid to vanish. You couldn't see that I even had any eyelashes on my upper eye lid. I have to admit, the swelling had me feeling really insecure so giant sunglasses and a cowboy hat were the order of the day at the festival to make me feel less self conscious.

A month on and my face is still bruised and painful. The outer bruises are gone but the darkness under my eyes hasn't because I'm tired. I roll over in my sleep and wake myself up, and can only sleep in certain position. The swelling to my eyelid hasn't gone down completely and may never, leaving me with a more hooded lid than before. I don't know how my eyebrow will grow back in, or if it will, and given that the scar on the other side of my face is still as red as the day the scabs came off 13 years ago, I suspect this one will also never fade to silver, and stay angry and red.

Once the steri strips came off after 9 days. The glue was MUCH harder to get off.

A scar on your face can take some getting used to. It's not big, but it's certainly something people's eyes are drawn to because of it's location. When I injured my face before I switched my hair parting to the other side to hide it and it was hard for 16 year old me to get to grips with knowing I'd permanently scarred my face. 16 year old me was just leaving school and spent time trying to figure out how to hide it with makeup (I can't, it's a dented section in my face). 16 year old me hid it from photos and was upset when for years afterwards drunk people would ask me what had happened and prod my face in pub toilets. 29 year old me is dealing with it a lot better. 29 year old me can look at it and feel happy that I didn't damage my eye, and that I didn't get a concussion so I was still able to go to the festival and not be ill. 29 year old me can be overjoyed that my friends would drop everything to rush to my side to help me. 29 year old me can laugh at the fact that I'm so clumsy this is take two, and that the first time I fell over my own baggy greebo jeans, and the second time I slipped over on a wet floor from a wet dog. 29 year old me can look at it and smile.

To twist Ru Paul's words badly, if you can't laugh at yourself, how in the hell you gonna laugh at somebody else?

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Colourpop Lips : Kinderwhore OOTD

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Colourpop Lips

I love me some Colourpop, but their products have to be my absolute stand out product. They're always releasing new products and one of their newest products has quickly become an absolute favourite of mine.

I had already tried out the blotted lips here, but the ultra blotted lips were new to me. Much like their ultra matte lips, these come in a clear tube with a doe foot applicator. Colourpop were known for their holographic fonts but they wore off the tubes very quickly, so they've switched to silver which doesn't wear off. I picked out Split and Cherry on Top as they seemed to be perfect summer colours!

I've also gotten really into brown toned nude lip colours lately, so I grabbed Boys Town and Bonus Points in the creme formula of the lippie stix. The creme formula is a lovely creamy finish, but not too glossy.

Left to right - 
Split, Cherry on Top, Boys Town, Bonus Points.

I'm wearing Split in both of these photos, which is the more pink toned ultra blotted lips. I am absolutely in love with this product! They've somewhere between a lip stain and a diluted matte liquid lipstick. It dries down completely and is smudge proof, but isn't as heavy duty or solid as a traditional liquid lipstick. These are so perfect for summer and I can't stop wearing them. They only budge when you eat oily foods and are really comfortable on the lips.

I am definitely going to be picking more of these up!

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Daisy Kinderwhore OOTD

Every now and then I see a dress that I just have to buy. This time, it was ASOS with the dress that had to be mine. It screamed of the nineties and kinderwhore fashion and it had to be mine. And so it was done.

Dress - ASOS £28
Sunglasses - Quay Australia £45
Converses - Old (no longer available)

Kinderwhore fashion was loved by the likes of Courtney Love and Kat Bjelland; it was baby doll dresses and fishnets and boots, the dresses were short and the styling was easy. Kinderwhore was a grunge kick into feminism, it took all the good girl parts of fashion and screwed with them. As a woman who loves punk rock, seeing women in rock and roll be hyper feminine and bad ass made me happy, but as a teenager I never dared look to them for fashion inspiration. But the Kitty who is now 29 (eek) is all that those mini dresses!

This is a more 'casual' version of those classic kinderwhore looks, because it was way too warm for my biker boots and I didn't fancy platforms. I actually wore this dress on mine and Stu's first wedding anniversary for chips and cheese on the beach while we were away on holiday. Top romance!

I love a comfy over size dress and this is a lovely light fabric, so even on the beach it kept me cool. I stayed simple with the accessories wearing all my usual BloodyMary Metal rings and adding a BMM stag necklace. And of course, I had the best accessory in the form of our pooch-face Ashen. I swear, he poses way better than I do!

Maybe by this point he was a little bit fed up of posing! He is a handsome beastie. ASOS have another dress in this sort of loose fit shirt style and I might just have to get my mitts on it. It's definitely become a new fave very quickly.

Disclaimer: I walk Ashen with a harness (he was arthritis and it helps his be more comfortable) and I totally fell over after taking these photos on the wet decking outside our log cabin leaving me with some epic bruises. These photos also really make me realise I need more leg tattoos.

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Girly Millenial Pink OOTD

I seem to be on a bit of a roll lately with online competitions, and recently I was lucky enough to win one of Yours Clothing's #winitwednesday competitions on twitter. It was a on a day that's always hard, on my dear friend Jess's birthday who sadly was taken from us when we were 17. We shared a mutual love of butterflies and it seemed like a gift from the universe to make me smile when I suddenly won a dress covered in butterflies!

Jacket - Matalan (old)
Shoes - Converses

This dress is quite possibly the girliest thing I've ever owned. In fact, this whole outfit might be the girliest thing I've ever worn! I ended up channelling Amanda Apparel for this look completely by accident. I wore this outfit to a hen do I went on, and when I realised I only had 20 minutes to get ready I gave my youngest step son a bunch of random choices to pick me an outfit real quick. He was feeling the all pink vibes, so all pink it was!

The dress is typical Lady Voluptuous, beautifully made, with a lovely print, and well fitted. Lady V offer dual sizes, and I find them very true to size. This is probably a little more low cut than I would usually wear because I don't have the sort of bust that gives cleavage, but I love it either way and think it would also look amazing on a busty babe too!

The print is a delight, flowers and butterflies in different shades of pinks and hints of blue. The sleeves sit at about elbow length with a fold up that has a really unusual shape, it actually peaks into a 'V' shape in the middle of the sleeves. I really like this detail, it's such a small thing but it's lovely. The top of the dress is a wrap over style, for me personally I might have to pop a stitch in the bust area because it does gape a bit because I don't have much to fill it out, but I don't think anyone with more of a chest would need to do that.

The bottom of the dress is probably my favourite part, the two pleated sections give it a great shape without being too full. You could probably pop a petticoat underneath it if you did want to add more fullness though!

It felt really odd to go out not wearing all pink, but I think the Converses and the pleather jacket made it feel 'Kitty' enough that I wasn't uncomfortable. I might just have to let my step son style me again seen as he did such a great job with this look!

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Sunday, 4 June 2017

Our First Wedding Anniversary

Today is mine and Stu's first wedding anniversary! We're spending it away on holiday with some dear friends of ours, but I thought I'd share some of my favourite photos from our day and some of the things I've learnt during our first year of marriage.

I've learnt that really, marriage doesn't change a whole lot. Life is pretty much the same, we still binge watch tv shows on Netflix, hang out in our local with our friends, pick on each other relentlessly, but now we do it as husband and wife instead.

I've learnt that in Stu I have a husband who supports me and is literally there through sickness and in health. He's been there with me when I've been at my most ill, and held my hand and looked after me, and I'm so so lucky to have that.

I've learnt that I'll always smile when I look at my wedding ring, but that I will eventually manage to stop crying every time I hear one of our weddings song! They fill my heart with complete delight and take me back to the day itself.

I learnt that you can absolutely have a wedding playlist filled with metal, rock, pop punk, ska and glam and still fill the dance floor all night long. I know a lot of more alternative couples worry about having music that they love and people getting up and dancing, but our dance floor was filled all night long. You might be surprised to discover that your Uncle from Wales is actually a massive metal head, or that your cousin's husband is a punk rocker at heart. I was so surprised at what people loved! We had a ridiculous mosh pit to Rage Against the Machine's Killing in the Name and I broke my dress head banging and it was SO much fun.

I learnt that once you've been married for 6 months the baby questions start and never seem to stop. From total strangers to family friends, people seem to think it's OK to ask when you are having kids. I'm not having children, it's just not something I want from life, and I don't understand why people think it's OK to ask you questions about this. While I've made a choice to not have children, plenty of others have that decision taken away from them and I can't imagine the hurt of having people pry about it. I've also learnt that people look at you like a monster when you say you don't want children of your own. I have 3 wonderful step-children that I'm so lucky to have in my life, but having children isn't for me.

I've learnt that time apart is important so you can both do your own things. We do so much together, but sometimes it's also awesome to just chill out on the sofa on your own in your pants eating pizza and watching Ru Paul's Drag Race. Sadly Stu is just not into Drag Race despite my best attempts! Sometimes when you are married people see you as a solid unit, so you are invited every where as a couple and it's expected you'll do everything together, but it's important to do your own thing too and not lose who you are as an individual.

I've learnt that being silly together is so important. Weddings can be really serious, but that's just not us. Being ridiculous and daft is so integral to our relationship that it had to be part of our wedding too. Take time to laugh and just be together and be delirious and happy that you are married. In our daily life play fighting and tickling and laughing at cat memes on the internet is the stuff that keeps us laughing and together. Memes are important stuff!

I've learnt that all my favourite photos from our wedding are the unposed ones. It's the photos taken when we didn't even know any photos were taken that we really love. Like the photo above, we were getting ready to have our photo taken and Stu was pretty er... tipsy by this point, and he just came over to me laughing and cuddled in and it's probably my favourite photo from the whole day. It's so natural and us. Let your photographer follow you around and capture you in your natural habitat! I'm so happy we booked Donna of ClickClickBang and her husband as a second shooter (which was a decision we were lucky to be able to make about a week before the wedding!) because so many moments got captured that could have been missed by a single shooter because they just can't be everywhere at once.

And I've learnt that being lucky enough to marry your best friend in the whole world is everything. Being best friends as well as partners makes our lives so much fun, and I feel so lucky to have been able to meet Stu.

I just hope he likes the present I got him!

Much love,
Kitty xxxxx