The world is a scary place

Right now the world is a scary place, and it can seem overwhelming at times, especially when you are outside of the US. My blog has never been a political place, but my social media is, and it's time to change that. It can feel like there is nothing you can do to help, but I wanted to compile some ways those of us outside the US can help.

One of the big organisations working hard to fight Trump and his executive orders is the American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU. They do incredible work, but they need our support to keep on fighting the good fight. They brought the lawsuit that is directly fighting the #MuslimBan and are trying to bring families back together. You can donate to them directly on their website at the link below - 

https://www.aclu.org/

Another organisation that needs support is the CAIR (Council on American-Muslim Relations). They are specifically helping the fight against the prejudices that Muslims in America are facing right now. They are America's largest Muslim civil liberties organisation. More info and ways to donate can be found here - 

https://www.cair.com/

In the UK, we can contact our MPs and ensure that they know how we feel. Let them know that you disagree with Theresa May's hand of friendship being extended to Trump, let them know that you disagree with the #MuslimBan and Trump's scheduled visit to the UK. The more of us that speak up and let our feelings known the better.

http://www.parliament.uk/get-involved/contact-your-mp/

There are organisations within the UK that are helping refugees right here at home that need our help too. With the US potentially refusing to take the refugees they had promised to help, they need all the help they can get.

http://www.redcross.org.uk/What-we-do/Refugee-support

http://www.refugeewomen.co.uk/

http://safepassage.org.uk/

Detention Action are an organisation that aims to help refugees and asylum seekers who are already here in the UK, but who are being held in detention while they wait to see if they will be approved. Many of the people held in detention are stateless, they cannot return home, but they cannot settle here till their applications have been approved.

http://detentionaction.org.uk/

Many of these charities and organisations need donations, but if you can't donate, spread their links where you can. Raising awareness is absolutely key, so keep retweeting and sharing those links, every RT is a new audience that might be able to help even more.

Don't support the organisations whose leaders are cosying up with Trump or are in his cabinet. Delete your Uber account and let them know why, stand with those companies that are brave enough to speak out and risk their brands.

If you are physically able to, attend the marches and protests local to you. Not everyone is able to do this, but those who can, please do. Every voice is another voice than cannot be ignored. Share information for the marches on your social media, especially if you are a blogger with a large audience, everything we can do to help spread the word is essential. Be aware, don't take photos of people without their permission, do not share those photos of people without their permission, do not tag people in photos without their permission, it is not always safe for people to be publicly seen at a protest, use your privilege to raise the voices of those being discriminated against, don't drown out their voices. Worldwide condemnation is so important, we can come together against this hate.

The SWP have been attending many marches and handing out their placards and signs, do not take these. The SWP are hugely problematic and do not need our support. Make your own placards and be careful of which organisations you promote.

If you know of other trustworthy organisations that can help, please let me know them so I can add them to this list.

Kitty xxxx

A Morris-Wood Wedding : On Taking My Husbands Surname

As a woman, who is marrying a man, it is generally expected then when we marry I will take his surname. Why? Because of tradition. Traditionally, a woman was considered a possession. She belonged to her father, and then her husband, and her surname reflected this. This isn't the same all over the world, but it certainly is in a large part of the Western world, including the UK. Married women couldn't hold property or vote, this was all the responsibility of their husband. However, it's the 20th century now and us gals can do as we please (at least when it comes to our surnames!) so here are some of the options I've considered from my hetero-normative stand point.

1) Don't do anything at all!

Who says you have to change your name? You might love your surname, or feel really attached to it as a part of your identity, so why should you change it? You might be the last person in your family with that surname, so not want to give it up. You don't have to do anything at all, and can both keep your original surnames, and still be a married couple, simple.

2) Change HIS surname.

That's right. Change his surname. If you have a totally badass surname, why not see if your husband wants to adopt it too? Maybe he has a really common surname, or it has bad memories for him, you could switch and use your surname as the married surname instead. Screw those gender norms!

3) Hyphenate.

Hyphenating has become a really popular option for couples as time has gone on. They can sound so pretty! My options would be Morris-Wood or Wood-Morris. I think Wood-Morris sounds a little clunky, but I really like how Morris-Wood sounds and am seriously considering it as an option. Our surnames are both on the shorter side, but longer names can sound really lovely combined together too.

4) Use one of the surnames as a middle name.

If you want to preserve your maiden name, you can opt to use it as a middle name, or use your partner's name as a middle name. This works particularly great if you don't have a middle name currently, or only have a smaller one. I however have 2 middle names so won't be opting for this one as my name would be so long.

5) Create a totally new surname.

I totally wish we could do this one. I even know what surname we'd use. We'd be Mr and Mrs Worley. Like Clarence and Alabama from True Romance! You could be superheroes or villains, smush your existing surnames to create a totally new one, whatever you like. In the UK at least, you can change your name to whatever might take your fancy so long as you aren't committing fraud. And I should know, I once met a man called Magnet Man. First name Magnet, second name Man. How fun is that?!

In the UK we are incredibly lucky to have so many options. Many countries, including European countries, have laws regulating what you can or cannot do with surnames when marrying. To be given so much freedom is fantastic and I am incredibly grateful for it. I am also happy that Stu doesn't really mind what I do!

For me and Stu, the things impacting upon our decision are that he has children who have his surname. He therefore wants to keep his surname that he shares with his children, which I totally understand! Therefore, it's all on me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go with Kitty Morris-Wood. It flows so nicely, combines our names together, and doesn't feel like a decision that isn't a feminist decision for me personally. I dislike the traditional idea that surnames represent ownership and have thought about it a lot.

What do you think? What do you plan to do, or what did you do?

Much love,

Kitty xxxx

An Alternative to the Bouquet : Table Decorations