Where Have I Been?

You might have noticed that over the last year I essentially vanished from my blog, bar the odd post. It's not the first time I've done it, but it has been for the longest period of time. 

2019 was rough. Really rough. Stu and I lost far too many family members, and we had to attend more funerals than any family should have to attend in such a short time. Within 4 days last year we attended 2 funerals for my side of the family, as well as what seemed like countless others. We lost people we dearly loved, some young, beautiful souls and it impacted us both deeply. It seemed frivilous to write about pretty dresses and make up and shiny things when our families were in so much pain. 2020 hasn't been much better, losing dear friends and this awful pandemic to boot, as well as the many first anniversarys of those we lost last year. Grandma, Jayne, Uncle Richard, Alys, Uncle Danny, Andie, you are all so missed.

One person in particular I want to share is Stu's cousin Alys, because she also blogged and her talent for writing was amazing. Al was the sort of person who made everyone feel welcome, she was instantly your friend. Sadly not long after the birth of her son Teddy she was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away in May last year. Alys wrote a blog of a lot of her journey, and her words will make you laugh, and destroy you all within the same blog post. Please read it, she was such a talented writer and the most wonderful human.

https://bestalys.com/

After losing so many family members, to really finish the year off, we had to say goodbye to our beloved dog Ashen. He had been diagnosed with arthritis many years ago, and despite supplements and medication, it sadly got too much for him and we had to make the decision to put him to sleep. He was in so much pain and it was the right thing to do, but it's also so hard to make that decision. I miss him endlessly. I miss seeing his wagging tail as soon as I wake up in the morning, I miss opening the front door to him being stood so close to it I can barely get in the house because he was so excited to see me. I miss the cuddles and his daftness. He was the goodest of boys and I don't think the house will ever not seem eerily quiet. He was my best friend.

A few weeks ago we also had to say goodbye to Ashen's little best mate, our cat Lemmy Katmister. I still remember writing an introduction to him on this blog. He was the baby of our little zoo, aptly named because he was the noisiest cat you could ever have met. He developed a tooth abcess and during the operation to remove his tooth they realised that he had further lesions down his throat and riddling his insides, cancer. We didn't get to say goodbye because of the pandemic which was so hard, but I hope he knew how loved he was.

So the last year or so hasn't been the best. In fact it's been the worst. So I felt no need to write. I didn't have any words that seemed to fit here, or that seemed necessary to share. The only place I have been writing is for PokémonGOHub, because one of the few things that has made me smile during all this, as daft as it sounds, has been PokémonGO. If you want to read any of my posts for them, they're all here. I focus on AR photography mostly, because what could be more cute than bringing Pokémon into the real world. 

https://pokemongohub.net/post/author/kittypokemonsalot/

So yeah. That's where I've been. Is this a comeback? I'm not sure. But I felt the need to revamp my blog, it has a whole new look (I was never happy with the old layout, this is SO much better), and I might just appear from time to time.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't wait to be able to give my family a hug when it's safer.

Much love,

Kitty

xxxxx

In Memory of Grandma

Last week we sadly lost our wonderful Grandma Eileen. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer and passed away peacefully at home. I was incredibly lucky to get to see my Grandma a lot as she quickly became ill, she was diagnosed only weeks ago, and to get to say goodbye to her.

Grandma is someone that was always meant to be a Grandma. Her home has always been open to everyone, and I have so many fond memories of my grandparents house as children. From playing with our favourite toys, a gloworm myself and all my cousins remember fondly, or a Rainbow Brite doll as we got older, or dressing up in my Grandmas pearls and scarves and wearing her fluffy slippers. I remember always having cheese and salad cream buns for my lunch, always made on oven bottom muffins, and always served as four halves, never as two buns. Every Christmas Grandma would make the Christmas stuffing, and she would make a special individual one for me that was vegetarian, always my absolute favourite part of Christmas dinner. 

We have a huge family, and Grandma always managed to make everyone feel special. Always everyone's number one fan, supporting us all in our chosen hobbies and activities, even if it meant long hours out in the cold watching my Uncles fishing.

My Grandma was famous for her knitting, particularly her dishcloths and baby blankets. If you could meet someone that knew my Grandma and they didn't have one of her knitted dishcloths, I'd be incredibly surprised! Every baby in our family, or even near our family, has their own special baby blanket. Grandma knew I have no desire to have children, so she even knitted our dog Ashen his very own baby blanket, because there is nothing he loves more than a blanket. No one was ever left out with Grandma!

In Grandma's memory we are raising money for Marie Curie UK, who provided lovely nurses who were such a help to Grandma and our family in her care at home. If you want to donate or share the link it would be so appreciated.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/eileenfredawood

I will miss you so much Grandma, and I'll think of you whenever I see pink lipstick.

Love always,

Your Star xxxx

In Memory of G

On the 22nd of July we woke up to a truly devastating phone call, the news that my beloved Grandfather, known affectionately as G, had suddenly passed away. He had been ill for a long time, but we had all expected him to stubbornly fight away for more years to come. Sadly it was not to be.

G was a man who fitted more into his life than most people could possibly dream of. He lived in and travelled to 54 countries, he learnt Arabic, Portugese, conversational Mandarin, and more I probably have no idea about. For years I've used G in many internet arguments, whenever people would say that older people should be forgiven for their prejudices because they were a different generation I would talk about G and how he always strived to be a better person. Liberal and open minded, accepting of everyone, and wanting the world to be a better place for all.

I knew two things almost immediately. That I wanted to be a pallbearer, and that I wanted to speak at G's funeral. Both things terrified me, but I just felt I had to do them. G spent the later years of his life using a wheelchair or electric scooter, and I would often be the one pushing him along as we adventured. If I could help him on his travels in life, I was determined to help him on his final journey too. Delivering a eulogy at a funeral was something I had never even considered, but I felt totally compelled to. I wanted to be the last of the family to speak, because I knew what I wanted to end on was just right. I found a strength I didn't know I had to speak, and was so proud of my Mum and Auntie who also spoke, and my Dad, brother, uncles and husband Stu, who were also pallbearers. We did G proud.

'I want to end on something he and I read online and thought was beautiful, inspired by a piece called 'You want a physicist to speak at your funeral'. It's a piece of writing about how to deal with loss and grief as an atheist, and find comfort in the world. In the Laws of Thermodynamics, the first law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, instead, it can only be transferred. G was a man of science, and he loved this. Over his years his energy has transferred into everyone he's ever met, and everything he's ever been involved in, a little piece of him is in all of us who loved him. His energy hasn't gone anywhere, it's simply a part of us all now instead. I love you G, thank you.'

In G's memory, we have set up a JustGiving page to raise money for Kidney Research UK. G spent the last year of his life on dialysis, and the teams who helped with his kidney disease were incredible people.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lyndonbaines

It was my absolute privilege to have G as my Grandfather, and I miss him so much. Every time I hear a Willie Nelson song I'll think of him always.

Much love,

Kitty xxx