You guys might noticed that I am somewhat on the taller side of things. I'm 5ft 11. I always kinda wished I'd hit 6ft but I didn't quite get there! In heels, I'm 6ft 3 usually. My husband Stu is about 5ft 9. And he is by far the tallest guy I've ever dated. I get a lot of comments about how I'm taller than him, so it has inspired this blog post! I'm specifically addressing heterosexual relationships because they tend to be the ones with the most stigma when it comes to height.
Photo by ClickClickBang. Stu is wearing cowboy boots with a heel here...
We have this idea that being taller than a male partner isn't feminine. We should be dainty, petite, and definitely the little spoon. Petite and dainty are two things I could never be described as, and Stu is the little spoon (or Lemmy the cat!). My first serious relationship was with a guy I'm still friends with now, and he's well.... he'll tell you he's 5ft 8. I'd say that's overestimating by an inch or so. Sorry dude! I've always been tall, so I've never been the shorter one, or even in an equal height relationship.
There aren't many photos of us where you get a good idea of our height difference because it isn't too major. But when I wear heels, that's a different story. I never used to wear heels. I wasn't always comfortable with my height and I absolutely did not want to draw more attention to it. I had an ex that didn't let me wear heels, he hated it. He felt emasculated, and saw it as condescending for me to wear heels and tower over him even more. That said a lot more about his insecurities than it did me.
There is nothing wrong with being taller than your partner, whether it's by 2 inches or 2 feet, or more. There is nothing wrong with being shorter than your partner either! Literally the only time we have ever noticed a physical real problem with our height difference is that it's kind of awkward to hold hands because my hands are higher than Stu's hands. And that's it. And it's kind of awesome being the big spoon, I steal all Stu's body heat, can easily roll away if I want to, and I like feeling all powerful and protective. Screw the gender roles society has given us.
Being tall isn't intrinsically unfeminine. I think it's fair to say most people would describe me as girly and feminine at least some of the time. And my being taller than Stu doesn't make him any less masculine, or less of a man. Our heights say nothing about either of us, who we are, what kind of deeds we've done, if we are good people; all that our height does is tell you something about our genetics. Being taller doesn't mean I'm suddenly the 'boss' in our relationship, or that I'm domineering, it means nothing at all. It's just a thing that I am.
At 5ft 11, I'm taller than most British men and women. And I've never let it interfere with my love life. If I'd have wanted to date someone my height or taller, I'd have had less than half the male population to choose from! I wouldn't have the love of my life as my husband if I'd let our height difference bother me. I've bought more heels recently than I have in my entire life, because I've finally realised that my height is a part of me, it's who I am, and I can embrace that. And screw a society that tells me that it's not OK.
I'm tall, and I'm cool with that.
Stu is shaving his beard for charity! Read more and sponsor him here