Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Wedding Anniversary Trip

For our wedding anniversary, Stu and I are aiming to go away or have some sort of an adventure every year. This year it wasn't looking great. Stu got promoted (yay!) but it meant he had to switch from weekly to monthly pay, leaving us with just my wages for a whole month (boo!) in the run up to it, which rapidly depleted our savings. With our wedding anniversary only 2 weeks away, it looked like we were about to fail our aim on our second wedding anniversary. Out of nowhere, suddenly my amazing parents suggested we get a cottage and have a week long holiday somewhere in the countryside with them, and my grandparents. It meant the dog could come along with us, and we'd get to spend time with my parents who live a few hours away from us, yay!

Next thing I knew we had a cottage booked in Ellastone and we were on our way! It was a lovely converted barn in the middle of nowhere, with 4 bedrooms, a mini pool table, access to a sauna and gym, and stunning views over the hills. It was set onto a farm with a field of sheep that the owners kept as pets. So cute!

Ashen thoroughly enjoyed himself. He's 10 now, and arthritic, so for him, lounging in the sun with belly rubs from all his favourite people was bliss. Look at that happy face! We did a couple of little trips; on our actual wedding anniversary we headed into Bakewell which turned out to be an error. Monday is market day, and the market is in the only car park, which meant we managed to find a parking spot that gave us half an hour to run and get some Bakewell tarts, fancy cheese and fudge, before we had to head off again. It was a shame but there wasn't actually a whole lot to do so back to the sunshine and gin it was.

This was Ashen eagerly awaiting our return from Bakewell. Look at that snoot. What a cutie.

We had a real shock one night, all of a sudden there was a lot of activity in the fields below us, people running back and for and the sheep being rounded up. One sheep was laid on the floor, not moving. Seemingly from nowhere, there is suddenly a lamb with another sheep in the field. It becomes clear that the sheep that isn't moving is in labour and is in a bad way. We all became so emotionally invested in this sheep. Next thing we knew there was a lamb being swung by it's ankles that the sheep had birthed. It wasn't breathing either. We are watching in total horror as it seems that both this poor sheep and it's newborn lamb haven't made it. The lady who owns the farm is visibly crying and my heart just breaks for her. These sheep are their pets, and this should be a beautiful moment for them. We solemnly return to our drinks, gutted for them.

We sit quietly for a little while, I keep glancing at this poor family, wishing there was something we could do. They turn away from the sheep and tend to the other newborn lamb that was happily running around, leaving just one man, the farmer's son from across the road, with the lamb and it's mother. And all of a sudden, the lamb moves. I'm the only one who sees it. Everyone is convinced that it didn't and that I just reeeeeally wanted it to. I'm convinced. I grab my Dad's SLR camera so I can zoom in on the field below. I wait, and I wait. And that lamb moves again. And then the mother does too. The farmer's son has done it. He managed to save not only the newborn lamb, but it's 12 year old mother too (12 is super old for a sheep apparently!). I literally cry tears of joy. What an incredible thing to witness, and something I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

The next day I couldn't resist going and photographing the sweet little lambs, so lamb spam incoming!

The rest of the holiday is mostly spent chilling out, drinking, eating, and playing Balderdash. I win every single game of Balderdash and somehow manage to make my poor Dad have to say the word 'queef' about 8 times. If you want a good family board game I highly recommend! It was hilarious.

We had a fantastic week with our family and our doggo, and we are already planning for a new adventure for next year. We might just venture a little further afield next time!

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Tuesday, 17 July 2018

The Coolest Denim Jacket Ever.

I have a bit of an obsession with denim jackets, I've got red denim, pale, black, dark blue, customised, vests, and I always find myself eyeing up more. I recently got my hands on the coolest denim jacket ever and while unfortunately you can't buy it looking exactly like mine (sorry in advance!), I had to share it.

Isn't it amazing?! It's a reference to my favourite film True Romance. I won this jacket in a competition hosted by the lush Olivia Campbell and Simply Be. To enter you had to share your personal rewritten rule that you would get written on the back of your very own custom denim jacket. If it wasn't glaringly obvious, I'm a massive nerd and I spent years feeling really uncool and worrying about what people thought of me. You're So Cool became a little personal mantra for me. I might not be cool in the traditional ways, but I am cool in that I'll be your designated driver and make sure everyone gets home safe after a night out. Or if you ever need someone to answer questions about Pokemon or Buffy at a pub quiz, I'm your gal.

Fans of the movie will no doubt point out that Alabama Worley doesn't actually use the apostrophe in you're, and writes youre on the napkin she writes on. I just couldn't do it though. Can you imagine how many people would tell me I'd written it wrong and try to correct it whilst I tried to point out that it was a quote from a film and was actually correct? I do not have the energy for such nonsense!

So this blog post isn't literally just photos of a custom jacket you can't actually buy, here is an amazing mermaid shell bag by Skinnydip London that er... you also can't buy anymore. I nabbed this in the ASOS sale for £7, I just had to have it! I love Skinnydip bags but I have to admit, they tend to fall apart relatively quickly. The zips and fastenings always seem to fall apart. They are only good for occasional use, and I tend to only buy them on sale because I know they won't last well.

You can buy an unpainted version of the jacket from Simply Be, it's their Distressed Western Denim Jacket. It's a cropped sort of style, and a small fit, I'd recommend sizing up. I got it in my usual size and there is absolutely no way I am getting it done up ever. It's fine wearing it open which is how I tend to wear denim jackets, but if you want to do it up size up once, maybe even twice if you are particularly busty.

I took these photos in 30 degree heat and melted shortly after. Do not recommend! This is also why there are no photos of my face because I was a sweaty mess. I am also wearing the exact same dress I wore in my last outfit post. It's warm and the dress is super comfy and easy to throw on, highly recommend!

Much love,
Kitty xxxx

Tuesday, 3 July 2018

The Friendship Break Up

Over the years, I've had some pretty spectacular ends to friendships. We talk a lot about how to get over the end of a relationship, how to deal with heart break and betrayal, but I often think that the end of a friendship can be far worse, yet we never really talk about it. A best friend is someone you've trusted your darkest thoughts to, who you turn to in times of needs, and who is there in the best times of your life, and when that suddenly ends, what do you do?

I can be brutal at the end of a friendship. I give second chances, sometimes even third, but sometimes the thing the other person does is so unforgivable that you just can't. I've ended 4 'best friend' type friendships over the years. One at 18 with the best friend I had all through school and college, and three in my early twenties. One of those I wrote about extensively, because it happened in the run up to said friend's wedding and ended when she threw me out of her bridal party (read about that here). The others ended with more of a fizzle, and they probably hurt the most, despite the lack of dramatic occurrence.

The end of a friendship is a different kind of heartbreak. It is unique to every friendship, it might hurt more of less depending on the length of time you've been friends, or why the friendship is ending. Know that it is OK to grieve the end of your friendship, you love your best friends, and it's a kind of heartbreak all of it's own. Processing the end of a friendship is much the same as processing the end of a relationship. It makes you question yourself, and your trust for those around you, and it's hard to let someone in so close again. Just because it isn't the loss of romantic love, it doesn't mean it isn't the end of a different kind of love.

I feel like I've ended far too many friendships over the years. To protect myself. Because I felt my trust was irreparably damaged. Because they revealed themselves to be someone I didn't know or understand. Or because they became someone that didn't understand me, or want to. Protecting yourself is OK! I wanted to share a few of the things I've learnt on how to help process the end of a friendship.

1) Removing a toxic person from your life is OK. Sometimes a person starts out as an amazing friend, and over time they begin to reveal their other self. The one who picks at you, who encourages your self doubt, who puts you down, who ignores you, uses you only when they need you, or questions your achievements. A friendship doesn't need to end with a bang, sometimes it ends with a painful murmur instead. If someone makes you feel bad who professes to love you and be your dearest friend, it's OK to move on.

2) Remove them from all social media. It isn't healthy to keep them on your social feed, constantly seeing their face pop up, or their seemingly happy like that hasn't been affected the loss of you at all, it can be brutal. Remove them, and it'll make life easier I promise. I tend to block people too, so they don't pop up on mutual friends social feeds either, or even go so far as to mute their usernames on social media that lets me do that. Don't ever feel bad for blocking someone if it is better for your mental health, you have to take care of you first.

3) It's OK to grieve, for as long as you need. There are times I still wonder about the friendship I ended at 18 and hurt, because betrayal can sting 12 years later. It hurts when I have to interact with the friendship that fizzled because we have so many mutuals. I have to pretend it's OK and it's fine and that it doesn't hurt after several years to see them pretend like I was nothing to them. It's OK to mourn, to cry, to need to talk to someone, a professional if necessary, it's OK.

4) Ghosting is OK. Controversial I know! Don't feel like you have to tell your friend why you are cutting them out of your life. Sometimes they don't deserve your explanation or your time. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this one, people don't like to be ghosted and they don't think it's appropriate behaviour, that you should be more 'grown up' than to ghost. But you know what, it's OK! Sometimes the best thing for yourself, the safest thing or the healthiest thing to do, is just ghost. I'm not ashamed to say I've done it. If you feel the only option to avoid a confrontation, or to avoid a scene, is to ghost, then ghost. You don't owe a toxic person your explanation or your time.

6) Remember that time and healing are not linear. You may be OK at first, for a few weeks or more even, and then it might hit you like a sudden wave. Healing and hurting are not things with a set path or route. There are ups and downs and backwards steps, and that's OK. The end of a friendship is a big deal, when you've known someone and trusted and loved them for a long time, it can be like losing a part of yourself. It's OK to be OK, and then not be again. Healing isn't a finish line you cross and stay across, it's more of a spiral full of loops.

Ending a friendship can be a really hard decision, or a really easy one. Know that you aren't the first to be in pain because of it, and that if you reach out there are others around you who know that pain too and can be there.

I've been there, several times. And it's OK. I have newer incredible friends, and friends who have been by my side for almost 20 years, who are a piece of my heart and soul at this point. (Yes Fal, I mean you if you're reading this). It gets easier I promise.

Much love,